BA (Hons) CG Arts & Animation - UCA Rochester
OGR 24/01/2013Hey Lekti,Okay - the good news is that your script is shaping up nicely, though right now you appear to be missing an establishing shot that clearly shows the restaurant, it's location and the original sign advertising his original pies or menu or whatever, and that the restaurant is now closed for business; without this first establishing shot, your final shot of the new sign isn't going to resonate or 'close the circle'. The other job of an establishing shot is to introduce the proximity of the cacti, as these need to be part of the mise-en-scene from the get go, as there's nothing worse in narrative terms than just having something pop-up expeditiously 'out of the blue' just because the plot demands it. Make sure cacti feature in the landscape and in the background, so when it features as a major plot point, your audience is accepting of it.I like the idea of him looking at the photo - and using this device to establish the past - but perhaps you might want to think about making this photo not just a random image, but perhaps a local newspaper cutting celebrating his prize-winning carrot and pumpkin pies, which includes that image of him and all his fresh produce. It's not a big change, but using a cutting as opposed to the photograph tells your audience lots more about the chef's past - i.e. that he was successful as well as popular.When you start to storyboard this, I want you to really consider your visual language, Lekti - I want to see that you're consulting the 'setting up your shots' guide on myUCA (among other resources) to really knock this exercise out of the park. I want the drawing to be dynamic too - so no stick men please (or stick bunnies for that matter!). You need to edit your OGR in terms of typos - you've got 'reviling' in there, instead of 'revealing' - and you've got it wrong a few times. Picky, I know, but you've obviously worked to present your OGR nicely, so these typos are doubly frustrating and it's in your best interest to edit and re-upload.
okay - the grumbly bit... One of the prime purposes of the OGR is to help students project manage by creating mini-deadlines and cut-off points - to guard against situations in which students are cramming in the final weeks. I'm concerned Lekti that you're already falling far behind your classmates and further isolating yourself from the process of feedback, conversation and discussion, which is an essential part of your training (and ultimate employability and social skills). I need to see some more improvement, Lekti - you should be seeking to reassure me and others that you're developing more effective strategies to cope with real-world expectations in regard to multi-tasking and creative process. Some improvement, please, Lekti - and some ATTACK! Chop chop!
Evening Lekti - I'm running out of jolly ways to jolly you along! REALLY looking forward to seeing some updates on here - come on, work with me a bit here, big fella - your creative partners are awaiting some rabbit/cactus/chef designs! You've got a really nice story on the go here, let's see it come to life!
Me too.....come on! It's been a week and a half since anything has been blogged. Remember what Phil said last week; it's no good putting up weeks and weeks worth of work all in one go - people don't have the time (or patience!) to sit and sift through tonnes of stuff in one go. You are missing out on valuable feedback by not getting your work up as you go... I will check again this afternoon, and hopefully there will be something new to look at! :)